Hello Lovely Reader!!
Before I explain the title, let me bring you up to speed;
I am currently staying at my mum's house, looking after her house and her cat whilst mum is in hospital. She is very poorly. I don't know when she will be coming home, or if. Only time will tell. But she's quite spirited, so you never know. That sounds really grim, and I don't mean it like that. I'm trying to be really positive, but remain realistic too.
So, my older sister and brother in law that live with my mum have gone on holiday to India, a much needed break. But right up to about ten minutes before the taxi arrived to take them to the airport, they were thinking of cancelling the holiday. I virtually pushed them out of the door, saying that if anything really critical comes up, I will contact them immediately.
On top of this, my eldest sister and brother in law have come back off their holiday. My sister is really ill, and was during the holiday, with something to do with her breathing (she has asthma). Her husband is waiting for test results, as he potentially has a tropical disease!
So, there's just me doing most of the visits (assisted by niece and niece in law), and the shopping and the clearing of cat litter etc etc etc!! Good job I'm used to coping with things on my own!! Because this is what happened to me....
I decided at the end of January that I was going to start running. I'd done some research on www.toofattorun.co.uk and The Angry Jogger. So, I ordered some lovely new Nike Lunarglide 7 running shoes, and I was all psyched up and ready to go, get started before I moved into mum's.
I've always wanted to be a runner, and it features regularly in my dreams. I don't know where this impetus comes from. I could run when I was at school (sprints, not endurance), and I used to cycle a lot too, but then I left school and started work and passed my driving test....
It occurred to me whilst watching the horror of the New York attacks on 9/11 that if I had been there, I would not have survived, purely because I wouldn't have been able to run away, certainly not at the weight I was then. I know that's morbid, but it was quite a shocking realisation. In an emergency, I would not be able to protect myself in that most ancient and basic of ways; by running away. Everyone of my generation would be able to tell you exactly where they were and what they were doing at the moment they first heard of or saw the attacks, much in the same way as the assassination of President Kennedy, or the space shuttle exploding that was carrying Christa McAuliffe. The moments when our lives change, never to return to what we once knew. But my life changed in a more visceral and personal way - I knew, without any doubt, that I had to start to change my body. I also knew, in the back of my head that one day, one day, I would be able to run. I would be able to find that peaceful silence that would hopefully still my ever-churning thoughts.
Added to this, I have a lovely friend at work who does a local park run every Saturday. I asked her why she does it, why she started and her answer was so beautiful; because it has such a sense of community and camaraderie, and it's so peaceful and quiet;
'I stopped at East Park to give the pooch a good walk, when something magical happened. Around 500 people were there doing laps around the lake and the sun was shimmering off the water, birds singing in the trees and the rhythmic drum of the stream of people's footsteps passing me. It was tranquil. {at the end} every single one of them was smiling. So that's where it started, I quite simply went for a walk'.
Isn't that beautiful? I was so inspired.
Then, on February 5th, I fell in the bath, and broke a toe on my right foot, and broke the 5th metatarsal on my left foot!! My Nikes arrived on that day too, adding insult to blummen injury!! So, I was ordered to have complete rest for 4 weeks whilst wearing a cast, and stay off my foot as much as possible. Obviously, with what's going on in my life right now, as outlined above, that is just not possible, but I am trying to rest it as much as I can. I have to go back in around three weeks for further x rays.
And the first question I will be asking is 'when can I start walking, with a view to start running?'. I can't wait to see his face. The concept of someone my size running will either blow his mind or make him laugh, I think.
But although my plan has suffered a setback, that's all it is. A set back, a slight delay. It's still going to happen!!
I'll keep you posted. And as for my beautiful friend who doesn't realise how beautiful she is, or how eloquent she is, I will be forever grateful, for clarifying something I didn't realise I needed. Tranquillity.
Much love and blessings to you all.
Carol
xxxx
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