Midnight Rambler

Hello Dear Reader

well, I've started using my planner, and actually scheduling a time to blog seems like a good idea.

I've had so many compliments this weel from colleagues about how much weight I've lost, and that I've lost it really quickly, it's been quite amusing.  I haven't lost it quickly, I've just bought some new trousers that actually fit!  Also, I've made the effort to start wearing a bit of makeup again, and it seems I'm a whole new person.

I can't deny that the compliments have given my ego a real boost - I've never had this level of recognition before, so it's gratifying, but, this is my concern;

normally, when anyone starts acknowledging that I look different/slimmer, I stop what I've been doing to get that way and I pile the weight back on.  I fear change, I don't like attention about my weight (because I can't handle it) and the thought of looking different kind of scares me.  I can remember the first time, many years ago, that I saw my collarbones.  I was so freaked out, I immediately put all the weight back on, and more, just to cover them back up.  Weird, or what??

So, this time, I'm trying to accept the compliments graciously and just kind of ignore them. Part of me thinks I ought to write them down, so I can read them when I feel I'm getting nowhere, but I don't know.  I have to really hold in my mind that I'm doing this for my health, but I am vain enough to want to look good too.  Actually, I'd be happy with looking normal, never mind anything else!

The public acknowledgement of the visual changes are a bit of a double edged sword.

What aspects of weight loss success scare you, and how do you deal with it?  I really hope someone reads this, because I would genuinely like to know!!

Take care, much love,

Carol
xx

Wow! Another New Year!

Hello Dear Reader

here I am , in the middle of the night, when I should be in bed, and I'm writing a blog post. Why? Because I just wanted to put something out there;

I love the newness of a new year. I dislike New Years Eve, but I like the new year.  I love that it's a whole new chapter, a fresh start that is full of possibility, full of options, full of choice, full of opportunities, full of chance.

As I am now 48, and I potentially only have 20-30 new years left, if I'm lucky - I'm going to make this one count!!

I hope all your dreams come true.

Carol B
xx