Motivation

Hello Lovely Reader,

Today's blog is about that often elusive concept; Motivation.

We often assume for a number of reasons that motivation is extrinsic to us.  That is, that the Golden Fairy of Motivation will come and dust us with fairy dust, and then we will never have to struggle again.  We also seem to operate on the understanding that once we have motivation, it will not desert us, and we will never have to struggle again!

As each and every person knows, these beliefs are simply...not true.  That darned Fairy seems to have forgotten where I live entirely, and I regularly run out of motivation, or it just ups and dies on me for no known reason.

The other thing is that there is no one size fits all, generic motivation.  What works for me, may very well not work for you.  This is because we are very different people, with different backgrounds, lifestyle preferences, cultures and experiences.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines the word 'motivation' as 'the reason, or reasons, for acting or behaving in a particular way'.  This means that essentially, we are motivated to behave in a particular way because we want a specific outcome.  Take that idea one step further, and it becomes clear that the more we want that  specific outcome, the more motivated we will be to behave in that particular way.

Where we often get in our own way is in starting that particular behaviour.  I said the other day that I believe that change occurs when we hit rock bottom, when we get to the point of having had enough of a specific situation or circumstance.  At that point, I believe the seed of change is sown.

That is when we get really fired up and keen.  'That's it! I've had enough! I. Am. Done!'.  This is the point we need to take note and be careful.  The energy inherent in making that decision to change must be harnessed and used wisely.  If we go gung ho and race around like mad things, without a plan or without direction, that energy disperses and we are often left in the same place exhausted, frustrated and beaten down.  If we harness the energy, take a little halfstep back and decide precisely where we want to be, we have more chance of actually starting the journey to get there. You know like Olympic long jumpers or high jumpers will often take a half step back before starting to run? A bit like that. In that halfstep, you can see the determination of reaching that goal set in their faces.

Change is usually inspired because we have had enough of a bad situation, not because we want more of a good situation.  Anthony Robbins posits that a human being will do more to avoid pain than they will to attain pleasure.  I think this is possibly an evolutionary thing.  You'd work harder to run away from the predator that was nipping at your heels than you would run just to jump into a river to cool down when you were too hot.  Make sense?

So, we need to channel the energy, keep in mind what we want to get away from, and the reasons for wanting to get away from it, and then focus on the outcome, the goal, the destination we want.  The path to the attainment of that goal is highly unlikely to run in a straight line and is equally unlikely to run smoothly.  This is where the phrase 'keep your eye on the end game' comes in extremely handy for me.  So we start with a small but determined step.  And then we take another.  And another.  And this is where the magic starts to happen.

Because, I believe that motivation comes from doing, from taking action, from actually moving towards whatever it is that is your desired destination.  I think it's almost entirely intrinsic, in that we create our own motivation.  I can't give you motivation.  I may be able to inspire you to find your own motivation though.  Imagine this;  there you are sitting on your sofa watching Extreme Makeover, shovelling M&M's into your mouth so quickly you don't even taste them, and by the end of the programme, you think 'Hmmm. Well, I could never do that, it won't work for me. And I'm sure I've been short changed in that bag of sweets, because it's empty and I hardly had any!'.  All of the initial energy of change has just drained away.  In the alternative version, you're watching that programme and you think 'Wow. Look at that! He/She is just an ordinary person and look what they're doing.  I'll seal this bag of sweets and save them for another time and really listen to this, to see if there are any pointers I can pick up, because I want to lose a bit of weight.  Hmmm. Well, they've just cut out sweets and fried foods. That wouldn't be so hard to do.  I know if they can do that, I'm sure I can'.  There. Right there. THAT is the seed of change.  That openness to the possibility that you can change.  So you cut out the sweets and fried foods.  And, even more than losing weight, you realise that, actually, you feel a little better, you have a little more energy, you don't feel quite so..gunked up.  And you think, 'Yeah, I like this. I didn't realise I always felt quite so .....off colour.  I really don't want to go back to feeling like that.  So, what else could I change?  I know, I could have a few more veggies with dinner. Chicken fajitas? Lovely! I'll just have more of the peppers and onions, and a bit less of the sour cream and cheese.  And maybe I'll take a little walk just down to the postbox and back after dinner.  Couldn't hurt, right?'.  And because you're actually taking action and seeing/feeling changes, you are endorsing that feeling of your own possibility for change.  You are actually proving to yourself that you can do it.  In effect, becoming your own self fulfilling prophecy.  See? Motivation comes from doing.

I realise this is a very simplistic scenario, but most change comes from a simple decision.  If you then work on the principle that there are going to be blips and roadblocks, that the more you sustain your changes and get right back on track, the more you keep your eye on the end goal, correcting the little detours and realising that you are human, the more likely you are to achieve what you want to achieve.  It may take time, and you may make lots of mistakes, but if you keep on keeping on, not only will you get to where you want to be, you may even get to somewhere better.

Much love to you and yours,
Carol
xxx